


And From Life's Dissonance

by havocthecat



Series: Soul's Inheritance [1]
Category: Highlander: The Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Femslash, Het, M/M, Multi, Poly, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-18
Updated: 2008-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-02 12:20:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Watchers haven't been able to keep track of Kate Heightmeyer or her assigned Watcher since she started working for the United States government three years ago. It's like she's vanished from the face of the Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Abydosorphan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abydosorphan/gifts).



> Originally posted [here](And From Life's Dissonance) on LJ.

**Return I**

"Where've you been?" Methos pulls his sword back from her throat, and Kate nods her thanks. "It's like you've vanished from the face of the Earth. I've been looking for three years."

"I can't tell you, Adam," says Kate. She lowers the point of her blade and sheathes it.

"I've been worried sick." He sheathes his sword and smiles at her. "The Watchers haven't been able to keep tabs on you since you started working for the United States government. They lost track of you and your Watcher three years ago."

"I've sent e-mails. You're perfectly capable of booting up a computer." Kate sets her sword down on the table and sinks into a chair.

"You've gotten sloppy," he says, slouching down into a chair near her. "What if that hadn't been me at the door?"

"I'm not about to lose my head," says Kate firmly. "Why'd you pick now to come and visit?"

"The Watchers." Methos grins smugly. "You know that. When they discovered you'd returned, I thought I'd pay a visit."

The doorbell rings again, and the low buzz of a pre-Immortal sets the hair on the back of Kate's neck tingling. "Just a minute!" she calls.

"Take your time," she hears John say through the door.

Methos slants an inquisitive look at her. "Prospective student?" he murmurs.

"Something like that." Kate stands up and goes to get the door. John's got a grin on his face until he sees Adam. It fades as he sizes Adam up.

"Hey, Kate," says John. His gaze goes back from Adam to Kate. "Didn't know you had company."

Of course Methos hadn't parked right outside. That would be far too guileless for him. "Adam Pierson," Methos supplies cheerfully. "Nice to meet you."

"We haven't met yet," says John sourly.

Kate suppresses a wince. Methos loves to prod at people who are bad-tempered. "John Sheppard, this is Adam Pierson. He's a friend from grad school."

"I heard Kate was back from out of the country, and I just _had_ to come and say hello," says Methos smoothly. "So, how do _you_ know Kate?"

"We work together," says John. He scrubs his hand through the hair at the base of his neck, then rubs at it. "Listen, I can come back if you're playing catch-up."

"Don't worry about it." Kate thinks he should get used to Methos sooner or later anyway. "I was about to kick him out and get some dinner."

"Funny," drawls John, turning on the charm. "I was just about to invite you out to dinner."

"I was about to do the same," says Methos. "It's been a long time since I've seen Kate. I don't suppose you could give her up, just for one night?"

Heat races through Kate at that. It's been a long time since she and Methos have slept together, but she knows the warm undertones in those words. Still, she's with John now, and she and Methos always had an understanding about monogamy when they're with mortals.

Before Kate can open her mouth to tell Methos to leave, John's grudgingly inviting Methos along to dinner. The look Kate gives Methos promises that he's going to suffer for this, but he's the picture of the innocent academic.

***

Five or six hours later - Kate's lost track of time - she's got a pleasant glow of drunkenness as John and Methos are stripping her clothes off. They're already naked, and Kate's doing her best to pretend she doesn't know _every_ spot on Methos' body that drives him mad with lust.

She's also pretending she's never seen two men kiss, and that's not as difficult. John's suspiciously proficient for someone who claims never to have done this before, so she's fascinated when he pulls Methos to him and cups the nape of his neck. Their bodies are lean, their breath is coming quickly, and Kate smiles as Methos's palm skims down to brush against John's hip.

"Very nice," she murmurs. Kate slides her palm down her stomach, between her thighs. She's slick and wet already as her fingers slip over her labia.

John and Methos both pause to watch her, and Kate fights back a smirk. "Don't stop," she orders.

"I wouldn't dream of it," says Methos, and what she sees in his eyes makes her breath catch. It's memories of the past, and the only thing that stops her from falling into them is John's frown.

Kate beckons John closer, kisses him with a passion that surprises him. He pushes her fingers aside and slides his own inside of her. Kate arches and cries out. When she pulls John closer, he twists his hand, and she gasps, "Do it, John." John's eyes widen; he's surprised at the fierceness in her voice.

Methos is moving to lay down next to them, bringing his hand under their bodies to wrap it around John's cock. "You heard the lady," he says, stroking his hand along John's cock once. "She wants you."

"Little hard--" John's speaking through clenched teeth as his hips jerk forward. "Little hard to do that right now."

"Not just a little hard," chuckles Methos. He lets go, and John moves to Kate's entrance, pushes inside her. John's rougher than usual. Methos pushes Kate up, and it's awkward, but she and John shift so that Methos can lean Kate back against his chest. He grips Kate's wrists in his hands.

She pushes back against Methos, groaning as she feels bruises forming on her wrists. John fucks her hard and fast, and she moves along with him, urging him on. It grounds her on this planet in ways that a week of endless debriefings hasn't.

Methos is kissing John as he holds Kate down. The bruises heal on her wrists almost as soon as they form, and she's pushed tight between them now. She's watching them, and John's got one hand digging into Kate's hip as the other tangles with Methos' hair.

With just one shift, John slides into her again, she can feel Methos hard against her ass, and this time, it's all _just right_. Kate comes, clenching hard around his cock. That drives John into his own orgasm.

He stiffens against Kate, and Methos makes a frustrated sound. "You couldn't hold out any longer, could you?"

"Play nice, Adam," says Kate, putting a faint emphasis on his pseudonym. She glances over, and Methos' mouth twists as he narrows his eyes at her.

"I'm a very frustrated man," he says.

Kate kisses John softly as he pulls out of her. She slides out from between Methos and John, then looks into John's eyes. "I want to watch you," she tells him.

"Watch me what?" She sees his eyes flicker over to Methos. John's mouth parts slightly, and Kate takes the chance to trace her fingertips along John's lips.

"You know what," says Kate.

John swallows and glances over to Methos. "Right," he says. Methos smiles at him, looking harmless.

"I'm right here," said Kate. Her voice was soft. "I saw the way you kissed him. You liked the way Adam touched you."

"Yeah." John's voice is less shaky now, as Kate strokes her hand up and down his back.

She curls up on the side of the bed as John leans down. Methos is silent, and John grumbles. "You had way more fun in grad school than most people, Kate."

Methos would have commented. Kate can see it in his eyes, but he goes silent as John's mouth covers his cock. When Methos lays one hand on John's shoulder, John shivers. Kate watches them, sees how John swirls his tongue over the head of Methos' cock.

When Methos starts to move his hips, John stops being passive. He shoves Methos down, and Kate's mouth opens in a soundless gasp. John grasps the base of Methos' cock and takes it deeper in his mouth.

Kate can't help herself now. She kisses Methos, biting down hard on his lip and tasting the copper tang of blood. He grabs her hair and yanks her head back, but Kate can't laugh, not while John is there.

John's humming against Methos' cock, cupping his balls in his hand. Kate leans down and captures his mouth again, her tongue flickering against his lips. He opens his mouth and they slide their tongues together. Methos cries out against her mouth as he comes.

When he sits up, John looks smug. Methos gives him a scathing glance, but Kate chuckles. "Let it go, Adam," she says.

For once, he does.

***

Kate's sleeping, fit snugly between Methos and John, when a humming in the base of her skull wakes her out of a dream. She lifts her head at the same time Methos does, and she knows, deep in her blood, that this is what they are. An Immortal's waiting outside. Chances are, one of them will have to fight him. One of them might die.

"He doesn't know what you are, does he?" asks Methos quietly.

"I don't know what?" asks John, awake and alert. He eyes Methos with suspicion. "Kate? What's going on?"

"Adam's just leaving," says Kate. She leans down and kisses John, who shakes his head at her.

"Right," he says. "We're talking in the morning."

"Good-bye, John," says Methos. He reaches for his shirt as Kate hunts for a tank top and a pair of yoga pants.

"Whatever," says John, collapsing back into bed.

***

Kate and Methos make their way quietly down the stairs. The Immortal, whoever he is, is standing outside. Probably on the front lawn, if Kate can pinpoint the feel of the Quickening. She's gotten pretty good at it over the years.

"Your lover is military, isn't he?" asks Methos.

Kate nods as she retrieves her sword. "Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. United States Air Force."

"He acts like he's in the middle of a war." Methos's commentary is casual. It's an invitation for more.

"He does, doesn't he?" Kate goes to the window, pushes aside the curtain enough to see who's out there.

Methos does the same from a different window. "Damn it!" he snaps as he sheathes his sword.

"Who is he?" Kate trusts that Methos would never, ever face an Immortal without his blade drawn unless he knew that person, or thought had the situation under his control. She lays her blade aside, within easy reach when she comes in.

"Someone you don't like very much." His eyes are narrowed as he yanks open the door. "MacLeod! I thought I told you not to bother me in Colorado."

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend," says MacLeod. His hands are in his jacket pockets as he strolls up to Kate's door. He stops right in front of the door and smiles at Kate, who's standing behind Methos. "Nice to meet you."

He'd be charming, Kate supposes, to anyone else. "What are you doing here?" she asks. She does her best to remain calm.

"I need to talk to Adam," says MacLeod. He looks puzzled now. "Have we met?"

"No," says Kate flatly.

"Then why--"

"Here we go," says Methos, rolling his eyes and letting the back of his head hit the frame of Kate's door.

"Sean Burns was my friend," says Kate.

MacLeod's eyes go hard, and his jaw clenches up, but Kate can see grief underneath all of the masculine suppression of emotion. "I'm sorry," he says. "I hope you know I regret what happened."

"I know." Kate doesn't look away. She's dealt with this issue. She's dealt with her anger, and moved on. She doesn't want to resurrect it, and so she reminds herself that challenging MacLeod would be dangerous. "I don't want you here."

"We were just _leaving_," says Methos tiredly. "I'll call you later."

"You always say that." Kate ignores MacLeod long enough to smile at Methos. "I don't think I'll be posted elsewhere. Not for a few years, at least. Turn on your computer some time, okay?"

"Right." Methos pulls her to him for a kiss, and out of the corner of her eye, Kate sees MacLeod turn away with an amused grin.

When Kate closes the door, she turns around, and John's standing at the foot of her stairs. He's wearing nothing but his boxers, and he's staring right at her sword.

Damn.

"Kate," says John slowly. "You wanna tell me what's up with the sword?"

"Not particularly," says Kate. She locks the door, then turns back around to John.

"Looks deadly," comments John.

"It is." Kate tries to muster the energy to smile, but right now, she's feeling the weight of her years.

"What did Adam mean when he asked if I knew what you were?" John's gaze is pinning her in place. "What aren't you telling me?"

***

"So you're how old?" asks John. She's sitting on the sofa, her feet in John's lap. His fingers are trailing absently over her feet.

"I remember when democracy was first invented," says Kate. It's a non-answer, but she doesn't feel like giving specifics.

"A couple hundred years isn't bad," says John. He's trying not to look poleaxed.

She smiles, half-amused, half-apologetic. "In _Athens_, John."

"Oh." Now he can't help but be stunned. "That makes you--" She sees him do the calculations, but he doesn't share. He's like that around her.

"Pretty old," says Kate.

"You don't look a day over a thousand," he says dryly. He pauses, measuring his words, and Kate knows that John got that tendency from Elizabeth. "What the hell? Would you have ever told me?"

"Someday, probably," says Kate. "But I didn't expect Adam to come and visit."

"He's not an old friend from grad school, is he?" John's mouth twists.

"You already figured that out," says Kate. "Adam is the oldest friend I have." Sometimes friend, sometimes lover. Sometimes other things. She has a strange relationship with Adam, but she accepted long ago that they'd never be able to define each other easily.

"So do you and he do that a lot?" asks John. All he's doing right now is asking questions, but Kate can't blame him. "Show up and get into a threesome with whoever the other's involved with?"

"It's happened before. Not often," says Kate. "I'm not surprised Adam was attracted to you."

"I wanna see you heal." John frowns as he changes the subject. "Show me. You offered to earlier, and I turned you down."

"All right." Kate slips her hand down the sofa cushion and pulls up a dagger. Its sharp blade glints in the early-morning light.

"Jesus." John's eyes widen. "I should put you on a field team. I would, if we were on Atlantis."

"Even if Helia hadn't asked us to leave, I wouldn't want to be on a field team," says Kate. "My days fighting a war are long past." She takes a deep breath and slices diagonally across her wrist. Her skin burns with pain as the blade cuts through it, and she watches as blood wells up. It's an arterial cut. She's dizzy for a moment, until a crackle of blue energy arcs across the deep cut.

John swallows. "Is it--"

"It's healed." Kate meets his eyes. "Wipe the blood away and see."

He takes her forearm in one hand, and wipes away the blood with his other hand. Kate gasps at the touch and tries to ignore the echoes of long-forgotten days, when finding Methos with blood on his hands meant heat and passion, and drowning in each other's arms. "You're weird," says John, glancing from Kate's healed arm up to her face.

"Old memories," whispers Kate. She's drowning in John's eyes. There's something dark there. He's almost feral when angered, and Kate's drawn to that.

He's angry now. He's been trying to hide it, but Kate can see it. "Memories of what?" he asks, the edge of his words cutting her almost as deeply as the knife she's holding. John takes the knife, sets it on the coffee table without cleaning it.

"He came to me when there was blood on our hands," said Kate. "We never cleaned up first."

"You used to be a very bad person, didn't you?" John's hard. He still wants her, no matter what she's just revealed, and she doesn't know why. Why does he trust her?

Kate's trying so hard not to let go, but the smell of blood is in her nostrils. She sees it covering John's hands, it's on her arms, spilled over onto her clothing, and John's sliding the strap of her tank top down. "I was. I was. John, we can't, we should clean this--"

He's mouthing along her shoulder, and when he bites Kate's neck hard enough to leave marks, she's lost. She lets herself go, slithers off John's lap and pulls off her shirt. There's blood soaked through to her skin. It's covering her abdomen and her thighs.

John shoves his boxers down and off. His cock is jutting up, and he reaches out and grabs Kate's hips. "Harder," she hisses, and his grip tightens as he grins wildly at her. She pushes him back, straddles him, and then Kate's riding John, holding him in place as she rolls her hips against him.

"Oh, God," mutters John, and Kate can't see him for the memories. Her breast is in John's mouth, and his fingers are circling her clit. When he bites down on her nipple and pushes against her too hard, too rough, she breaks, screaming as she comes.

"John." She pants his name, pulls him to her for a frantic kiss. He comes as Kate shudders against him. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have--"

"Here I thought last night was fucked up." He sounds _too_ casual. John's defenses are raised now.

Kate looks up and meets his eyes, slipping through all his emotional safeguards. "It was," she says. "This is. If you knew--"

"I'm starting to get the idea," interrupts John. "What're we gonna do?"

"I don't know," says Kate. She glances down at their naked bodies. He's still inside her. She's still covered in her own blood. "Can you deal with me? With all the things you don't know about me?"

"I don't know them yet, so I couldn't tell you, could I?" He sounds irritated, but then he stops, and Kate can see him thinking. "Sometimes it feels like you're the only part of Atlantis I have left."

"I miss our home too," she says. There's no ocean in Colorado Springs to wash out the memories with. "We'll make a new one."

"You've done this before, haven't you?" asks John.

"A few times." Kate smiles, some of her masks slipping back into place. "So we're good?"

"I don't know what we are," says John. "But we're not splitting up."

"Then I guess that's all I can ask," says Kate.

***

**Echoes**

Kate smiles at John, holding her tray and walking up to him. "I didn't think we'd ever be back on Atlantis," she says. She pretends that she's only a psychiatrist, and that he's only a colleague.

"I know what you mean," says John. He leans back in his chair and acts like he's noticing her hair for the first time. "Nice hair."

She glances down at her red hair and lets her smile turn faintly sheepish. "It was time for a change."

"Right," says John. "Because we haven't had enough of those lately."

"Too much change _can_ be disconcerting," says Kate. She picks up her fork and takes a bite of today's lunch special. "Humans are inherently adaptive creatures. I expect to be a little busier in my office, but I trust that everyone will adjust to returning to Atlantis."

"Probably better than they adjusted to leaving it," says John. "When'd you get back?"

"An hour or so ago." Kate keeps her smile in place. "I thought I'd observe how everyone was adjusting. Sometimes it's easier to get an idea of the psychological state of the city when it's on its leisure time."

The look in John's eyes says something about how much of that he believes. It's all true. Every word of it. "Yeah, you should take some leisure time for yourself," he says.

It's not the whole story, and they both know it. "Maybe I will," says Kate. "The truth is, I've had a lot of leisure time lately. I'm looking forward to getting back to work."

"Right," says John, nodding. He glances down at his empty tray. "See you around?"

"Of course." He'll stop by her quarters later. They'll be quieter than his ever are.

***

"I'm just saying, you'd be an asset out in the field," says John. "You can handle yourself in action way better than I ever thought you could."

"I don't _want_ to be out in the field." Kate's sitting on her bed, watching calmly as John paces. "What happens the first time someone sees me get shot and recover? What happens if the _Wraith_ get their hands on me?"

"Then tell Elizabeth what you are," says John. "I know you're worried about the IOA finding out, but she'll protect you. Hell, we all will, Kate."

"We take care of each other here," says Kate. She smiles, and it's serene. "I know that, John. But there are other things about putting me into a front-line situation that make it a bad idea."

"The fact that the sight of blood drives you a little over the edge?" She sees the memory of it in John's eyes, and hears the lust in his voice.

"It brings up memories." Kate's breath is coming faster now. "Too many memories. I can't let them affect me. I have to be Dr. Kate Heightmeyer. Just an ordinary psychiatrist."

"You're dangerous otherwise, is that it?" asks John. He likes danger. She's always known that about him. It's one of the things that drew her to him.

"Yes. I explained everything--"

"Everything you were comfortable with." John sits down on the bed next to her. Kate turns to face him, her training as a therapist taking over. She's got her head tilted just slightly, and she looks curious and empathetic, but not afraid of the intense emotions. "God damn it, Kate, stop being such a shrink for a minute, will you?"

"It's who I am," says Kate.

John laughs. "It's not who you are. It's an act."

"In some ways." Kate lays her palms on her thighs. "In some ways, this _is_ who I am. Ask me in a hundred years. It may change by then."

"I'm not gonna be around in a hundred years," says John roughly. "You may have until someone cuts off your head, but I've got an expiration date."

Except he doesn't, though Kate isn't going to tell him that. "In ten years, then. You'll still be around."

"Unless the Wraith get to me first." John knows just how many enemies he's made in Pegasus. His smile is tired. "Or the Genii. Or the Asurans. Hell, I'm surprised there's not a waiting list."

"I won't be held responsible for what I do if someone harms you," warns Kate.

"Why, Kate." John's smile grows brighter. "That was almost romantic of you. In a vaguely sociopathic kind of way."

"Why do you think I want to leave my past alone?" asks Kate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunday**

"I'll take it." Kate holds out her hands for the box.

"You can't," says Carson. His voice is firm, but she hears a quaver of fear underneath it all.

"I was a dancer in college," says Kate. "Theater minor. I'm more graceful than you, so there's less chance of jostling the box." She reaches out and takes the box, ignoring Carson's protests. "Open the OR level. Tell Elizabeth and John what I'm doing."

"You're certain?" asks Carson.

Kate smiles. She nods and turns to leave. Burning to death isn't a good way to go, so she's worried. Sweat beads on her forehead and rolls down her face. Her eyes are burning as her mascara gets in them.

There's a Marine standing next to the case. Corporal Washington. He's one of the new transfers. They smile nervously at each other as Kate slips the case into the trolley.

She turns to go. Two steps out, and she remembers to radio John and Elizabeth. "I've handed it off," she says, and as she hears John's sigh of relief, the case explodes.

The last thing Kate feels before she dies is her skin blistering away.

***

"Holy shit." John meets Elizabeth's horrified eyes. "Kate."

Elizabeth closes her eyes and looks down. "John, I'm sorry," she says. "I know you and Kate were close."

"We're lovers," he says. She's going to heal up from this. Probably. Dread wells up in his gut. He can't let her wake up in the morgue.

"John--"

He's off and running for the operating room before he can hear the rest of Elizabeth's sentence.

***

Atlantis listens to John before she listens to anyone else. He's sitting in the operating room. The lockdown is back on. He's in there alone, staring at Kate's body. Her skin is blackened and seared. It's almost skeletal in some places.

"You have to let us in," says Elizabeth. Her voice crackles faintly on the radio. She's calm when she's at her most persuasive. "Kate's dead. I'm sorry for your loss, John, but we need to get in there. Carson needs to bring his patients back in for medical care."

"She's not dead." It's been ten hours. Maybe twelve. Rodney's still trying to hack through the lockout, but John's very persuasive with Atlantis.

"I am--" Teyla's voice breaks. "I am greatly saddened. You know I considered Kate to be a sister, and yet, she is gone. We cannot grieve properly without her body."

"Sheppard." He hears Ronon's gruff voice. "I'm sorry, man. Come on out."

"Lad, you know there's no coming back from the dead," says Carson.

John laughs hollowly. "You don't know Kate very well. None of you do." In the background, John can hear Rodney hollering about how they need another therapist, or maybe just to have Ronon knock John over the head until he comes to his senses. He touches his radio. "Tell McKay to shut up."

Everything is silent for a while, until Kate wakes up screaming. John can hear startled exclamations from the other side of the door.

"Kate!" John's at her side instantly. Elizabeth's on the radio, demanding to know what's going on.

"Oh, God. John." She's hunched forward, staring at her hands as she flexes her fingers. Kate looks over at him. Her eyes are wide and terrified. "Carson? Corporal Washington?"

"Carson's just fine." John shook his head. "Corporal Washington didn't make it. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I could use some clothes." Kate looks down at her outfit, which is in shreds. "I guess it's a good thing you've seen it all before."

"John? Am I hearing Kate's voice?" Elizabeth's puzzled voice is in his ear.

"Later, Elizabeth." John tears his radio out of his ear and goes to get Kate a set of scrubs. The problem is that he doesn't know where Carson keeps them.

"The corner cabinet," says Kate. She sits up, and John notices she can't stop shaking.

"Thought you were a big, tough girl," he says, keeping his voice even.

"Tell me that after you die in a bomb explosion," murmurs Kate. She gives him a grateful look as he pulls clothing out for her.

"Let's hope I don't go that way," says John. He helps her stand and pull off the flaking remnants of her clothing. "Ick." He thinks it's not just clothing flaking off her skin, but he's not too sure he wants to examine it too closely.

Kate glances at the mess left on the operating room bed. "It's disturbing, isn't it?" she says. John hands her the scrubs, and she tugs the pants on as the door opens.

"Oh, God," says Rodney, looking away and clapping his hand over his eyes.

"Will you shut up, McKay?" snaps John.

"Kate?" Teyla walks closer. She's amazed. "How is this possible?"

"Could you put your shirt on before you answer us?" asks Rodney.

Kate finishes tying the laces on the pants. She takes the shirt from John with a rueful smile. "It's a very long story," she says.

"I am simply relieved that you are alive." An instant after Kate slips her shirt on, Teyla envelops her in a warm embrace. "The past twelve hours have not been easy on any of us."

"I don't get it," says Rodney, pulling his hand off his eyes. "How are you--"

"I need to do a medical exam," announces Carson. "Kate, if you don't mind?" He gestures at an examining table.

"I'll just get rid of this," says Ronon, nodding at the bed Kate's body had been on. "McKay, help me out here."

"What, me? But--" Rodney backs up. "There could be all kinds of infectious material there."

"I think the explosion sanitized it," says Carson. He looks tired, and irritated, and a little impatient that Kate's not over on an examining table. Instead, she's standing next to John, with Teyla's arm around her. They're leaning against each other and talking softly.

John's just not going to think about how inappropriately hot that is.

"After your exam, Kate, I think we all need to have a talk," says Elizabeth. Kate glances over, her eyes still wide with fear, and nods. Elizabeth's face softens. "I'm glad you're all right."

"Thanks," says Kate, mustering a smile.

***

They're all gathered in the conference room. Teyla has moved her chair next to Kate, and is gripping her hand tightly. Kate's back in normal clothing; Teyla had brought some from her quarters for Kate to change into. John's sitting on Kate's other side. He's not holding her hand, or acting like a sap. He's just scooted a little - a lot - closer to her than he normally would be in a staff meeting. Ronon and Rodney are on the other side of the table. Rodney's scrubbing his hands on his pants, almost obsessively, and Ronon's leaning back casually.

"She's perfectly healthy," says Carson, looking up from his tablet.

Elizabeth smiles from her usual place at the head of the table. "I think we're all relieved to hear that."

"No, you don't understand," says Carson. "I mean she's _perfectly_ healthy. It's like Kate's never been sick or injured a day in her life. There's no indication that she's even been through an explosion, much less died from one."

"Kate?" asks Elizabeth.

Kate has been staring down at Teyla's hand, but she looks up now. "I suppose this is my cue," she says.

"What happened, Kate?" asks Elizabeth, leaning forward. "How did you revive yourself? Why did John know you would be able to, when none of the rest of us did?"

"I can't believe you have a girlfriend and you didn't tell the rest of us!" exclaims Rodney.

John gives him a scathing look. "Yell at me later, McKay."

"I couldn't explain the mechanics to you," says Kate. She straightens in the chair, gives Teyla's hand one last squeeze, and lets go. The mantle of staff psychiatrist settles around her, even though her hair is disheveled, and she looks strained around the eyes. "One day, I was in an accident. It was fatal, but I woke up from it. Ever since then, I haven't been able to die."

"Have you tried?" asked Rodney. "My God, Kate, think about what this means--"

"It means that I stay in perfect health, no matter what," says Kate. She glances at Carson. "It means that I can sometimes take a risk that my friends can't."

"Have you ever met anyone else like you?" asks Carson.

"I can't tell you that." Kate shakes her head. "If I had met anyone else like me, I would be endangering them by letting anyone even tangentially associated with the government know about them." John's going to have to have a talk with Kate about Adam and that MacLeod guy she hadn't wanted him to meet.

"From what I can tell, there's no sign of aging in your cellular structure," says Carson. "It reminds me of some of the proteins we've found in Ancient tissue, but you don't have the ATA gene."

"How old are you?" asks Elizabeth.

"I remember when democracy was first instituted," says Kate. It doesn't sound rehearsed, but something tells John she's been using that as a standard line for a while now. How long a while, he doesn't want to know.

"So, what, two hundred and thirty-five years?" Rodney's boggled. "Wait a minute. You're _two hundred and thirty-five_ years old? Are you really a psychiatrist?"

John spots Elizabeth's eyes narrowing, but she doesn't say anything. He suspects she's going to be keeping a close eye on Kate for a while.

"I'm a psychiatrist," says Kate. "My post-high school education on my personnel file is all genuine, as are my credentials."

"Why didn't you tell us this?" asks Elizabeth.

"I've gotten used to keeping it secret," says Kate. "To be honest, while I trust everyone in this room with my life, it's not something I've wanted to share with the entire expedition."

"Think about what we could learn from you, though," says Carson. His eyes are bright. "If we could discover how to heal wounds more easily, or to--"

"No." Kate's voice is firm and uncompromising, but John hears a quaver in it. He wonders if she's really afraid. "That was my other consideration. I won't be a subject for medical experimentation."

"No one's going to experiment on you," says Elizabeth. "But I'm disappointed that you didn't trust us."

"Would you have done any different in my situation?" asks Kate.

"I don't know," says Elizabeth. "I can't say without being in your situation."

"What are you going to do?" asks Kate.

"Your secret isn't going to leave this room," says Elizabeth.

"Thank you." Kate looks at Elizabeth with gratitude. "I appreciate that, Elizabeth."

"If you've got any other secrets, I want to know about them," says Elizabeth. John knows that look. She's not kidding around.

"I understand," says Kate. She doesn't say anything else, and John wonders if she ever will.

***

The door to Kate's room closes behind her. John's waiting, and she smiles at him. "Two hundred and thirty five years old?" he asks.

"If you don't count the rest of it," says Kate. She goes to sit next to him on her bed. "How are you?"

"You had me scared." John snakes one arm around her waist, and she leans against his chest as he lays back against the headboard. "I had Elizabeth doing her best impersonation of a hostage negotiator for twelve hours. Does it normally take that long to come back from the dead?"

"Burning is a horrible way to die." She's always been wary of the more painful ways to die. Fire and falling are the worst. "It takes the longest to come back from."

"I suppose there's more damage to heal up that way." John starts stroking his hand through her hair, and she relaxes into the touch.

"Mm," says Kate, nodding. "Yes. Normally it's not more than a few minutes."

"You saved Beckett's life." John's voice is full of all the emotions he'll never talk about. Kate twists around in his arms and looks at his face. "Thanks."

"John--" She reaches up and touches his cheek. "Carson is a very dear friend. I couldn't bear for something to happen to him. Not if I could prevent it."

"Seems to me it'd be hard to remember to care about us mere mortals like that," says John. She doesn't know what's in his eyes right now.

"Sometimes it was," says Kate. She stays composed as she looks at him. "No one's insignificant, mortal or Immortal. It was a hard lesson to learn."

"I bet." John gives her a serious at her. "Glad to know you're good with that now."

***

**Vengeance**

The new transfers are being beamed one at a time from the Daedalus. Kate's watching them, standing next to Elizabeth and John on the balcony. Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney are with them. Carson's down on the floor in the control tower. He and the rest of the medical staff are giving everyone an initial examination here, since there are a lot of transfers.

There's a buzzing sensation, and a woman in the expedition's science division uniform is looking around. She's got copper hair, tanned skin, and a French manicure that Kate knows will be impossible to maintain while on Atlantis. It's Cassandra.

Kate won't be able to leave her sword in her quarters from now on. She excuses herself and turns to leave. She knows Cassandra's eyes are following her every move.

***

"What name do you go by these days?" Cassandra's in Kate's office, for an intake evaluation on Atlantis.

"The same name as on the e-mail you received." Kate smiles pleasantly. Cassandra has behaved so far, and Kate's willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. For now. "Dr. Kate Heightmeyer. I'm the expedition's staff psychologist."

"Atlantis," says Cassandra. She stands by Kate's window. "Tell me, Carys, did you ever think it was real?"

"I don't rule anything out," says Kate. "I think you and I have both seen too much to do that. Why have you come to Atlantis?"

"Where's Methos?" Cassandra's eyes are flint as she changes topics abruptly. So that's why she's here.

Kate stands, but stays behind her desk. She wants the few precious seconds that barrier will give her. "I can't tell you that, Cassandra."

"I don't have to be here for your head," she says. "Not if you tell me where I can find him."

"I won't lead you to Methos." Kate's voice is cool. "Which means you're on Atlantis for my head. It's too busy here; we'll get caught before we finish. Shall we say midnight? If you've been given the standard introductory tour, you know where the north pier is."

"North pier at midnight," says Cassandra. She nods curtly. "I'll see you then."

***

It's been a while since Kate's had a challenge. She eats a light dinner and brushes off Teyla's well-meaning questions. Cassandra's not at the mess for dinner. It doesn't matter. Kate knows where she'll be later.

She slips out of bed two hours before the challenge. John, for once, stays asleep as Kate dresses quietly. Her sword rasps slightly as she pulls it out of its hiding spot. At the door, she pauses and turns back to look at John.

The soft smile doesn't stay on her face as she makes her way down the corridors of Atlantis. Cassandra's older than Kate is, but she's spent a number of years manipulating gullible men into taking heads for her. It's a toss-up on who will win.

The pier is beautiful tonight. It's one of the dead areas of the city, so Kate's not worried about the life sign detectors picking up on two Immortals fighting for their lives. She sits for a while, listening to the waves, and wondering if she'll see the sun rise. Before too long, Kate can sense Cassandra's approach.

"Last chance, Carys," says Cassandra. "Tell me where I can find Methos."

Kate shakes her head. "You know I won't. But you're not here to find out where he is, are you? Just to kill me."

Rage blooms in Cassandra's eyes. "You helped him kill. You helped him in so many ways--"

"Take a piece of professional advice," says Kate coldly. "Get over it. If you haven't gotten counseling, find a good therapist. Though you might have a problem finding one that will listen. Your little Scottish pet keeps killing Immortal therapists."

"I don't need him to kill you." Cassandra strides onto the pier as Kate stands. "You've gotten pathetic over the years."

Kate brings her rapier up. She's ready, but as soon as Cassandra steps toward her, they feel the faint tickle of what will be John's Quickening. "Drop it, New Girl," he barks, gun aimed at Cassandra's back.

"John, you can't!" calls Kate. "You can't interfere in a challenge."

"He doesn't know?" asks Cassandra. "Oh, Carys, he's in for a surprise."

"You know, when we started dating," calls John, "I didn't expect one of the rules of the relationship to be 'don't interrupt while I cut someone's head off!'"

"Can we talk about our relationship later?" asks Kate.

Cassandra lunges forward and feints toward Kate's sword arm. As Kate ducks back, the point of Cassandra's blade stabs into Kate's thigh. She cries out. In her peripheral vision, she can see John keep his firearm aimed at Cassandra, who tries to keep her advantage with a lunge.

Long ago, Kate learned to fight through pain. She forces her injured leg to bear her weight as she blocks Cassandra's strike. She can't stay on the defensive for long, so Kate attacks. She pushes Cassandra back, looking for a weakness.

It's not hard to find one. Where Kate uses her emotions to fuel her battle, Cassandra lets her emotions run wild. Her parries are heavy-handed; her strikes are crushing blows that will exhaust her too quickly. Kate works with her emotions every day, and she's known Cassandra for centuries. The two of them will occasionally try to kill each other, but something tipped Cassandra over the edge. It's something to do with Methos.

"I know he raped you," says Kate. Cassandra's eyes widen. Kate's certain no one's ever brought this up to her. "I know he let the others rape you."

Cassandra snarls and begins to press an attack on Kate. "What do you know about it?"

The blood from Kate's thigh has trickled and slowed, but Kate steps in a patch of dark red. She slips and goes down to one knee, barely blocking an overhead strike by Cassandra.

"He told me." He told her as they'd sat by a campfire long ago. "Don't you think you're overreacting?" Kate rolls to the side, then gets back on her feet. She stays in a low crouch. "Killing everyone even tangentially associated with the object of your three or four thousand year old post-traumatic stress disorder is a little ridiculous."

"Methos _told_ you?" Cassandra's appalled enough that she flinches, and that's when Kate strikes. She pulls a knife from its sheath on her back as she takes a step forward. The slice of the serrated blade across Cassandra's stomach leaves blood pouring down her abdomen.

When Cassandra screams and doubles over, Kate drops the knife. She brings up her sword, two-handed for strength, and then Kate beheads her.

She hears John cry out, but Kate stares down at Cassandra's head. She lets her sword clatter to the ground as she hears John's footsteps move closer. Fog rises from Cassandra's body and swirls around them. "Stay back," says Kate. She looks up and meets his eyes. "It's still dangerous."

"She's pretty damn dead, Kate," snaps John. "How much more dangerous can she get?"

Blue lightning arcs from Cassandra's body. It plays along Kate's skin, and she cries out from the pain of it. The power Cassandra held within her is Kate's now. The wind whips around them as John watches her.

Memories of Cassandra's past stream in front of Kate's eyes. She sees Methos, his face painted blue. Kronos, bastard that he was, with a knife plunged into his groin. The desert, the forests of Scotland. Cassandra's first teacher, her first Quickening.

Every bit of Cassandra's vitality pours into Kate and drives her to her knees. The ocean drenches her clothing, and washes the pier clean of blood before the wind subsides, and the crackling energy sinks inside her.

"What the _hell_ was that?" asks John.

"Quickening." Kate's panting heavily as she struggles to her feet. This particular pair of khaki pants is a loss. She reaches down and picks up her sword and knife, then takes Cassandra's sword and hands it to John.

"Isn't this a bit gruesome?" he asks.

"Gruesome would be if I kept her head as a trophy," says Kate. "Either I hide her body, or I come clean to Elizabeth."

"Lightning show like that, you'd better decide soon," says John. "I recommend coming clean."

"I know." Kate sighs and lays her head on John's shoulder. "I need to talk to her."

"I'm glad you said that." Elizabeth is standing in the doorway. Teyla and Ronon are flanking her, with Rodney and Radek standing behind her. "It's the only thing keeping me from throwing you in a holding cell until I figure out what the _hell_ is going on."

"Excuse me," Radek mutters, shoving in front of Elizabeth. He sees Cassandra's body and shakes his head. "Oh, this is not good. This is not good at all."

***

It all clicks with Kate when she's seated in Elizabeth's conference room. Why Radek always wears long-sleeved shirts. Why he shows up in her office for weekly appointments, but doesn't have much to say, and asks about how she's doing instead. Why he almost never goes off world, and why he spends time near her when there's a citywide crisis and he's not needed. Most especially, she understands why he didn't look in the least surprised to find Kate holding a sword and standing over a beheaded corpse.

Radek is sitting next to her right now. His hands are on his laptop as he explains to Elizabeth that he was down on the north pier checking power fluctuations.

"Radek." Kate interrupts with an apologetic glance to Elizabeth, who only looks more upset.

Radek turns to Kate. "Yes, Dr. Heightmeyer?"

"You're a Watcher, aren't you?" she asks. When she reaches for his wrist, turns it up, and pulls his sleeve back to show the blue sigil of the Watcher organization, he seems almost resigned.

"I thought you might know about us." Radek shrugs. "You make it difficult to keep tabs on you."

"Watchers?" asks Elizabeth.

Kate slants an irritated glance at Radek. "A secret society dedicated to keeping a historical record of Immortals' activities. I manage to lose them every once in a while."

"It would be nice if you cooperated," says Radek. He holds up his hand, thumb and forefinger measuring air. "Just a little bit."

"The last time I had a Watcher, she stole my laundry and sent it to your archivists." Kate's always been frustrated by the Watchers. "My _laundry_, Radek."

"To be fair, you _had_ just beheaded Osaga," says Radek. Kate's certain she doesn't see a hint of apology from him. "That _is_ a very historical moment."

"It was a blood-soaked shift!" exclaims Kate.

"Hey, hey, hey!" exclaims Rodney, his hand chopping in the air. "You mean Kate's beheaded _more_ people than just our newest engineer?"

"You did not tell them about the Game, did you?" asks Radek.

"I'm out of the Game these days," says Kate. "Unless I'm forced back into it."

She knows Elizabeth has been watching them silently, absorbing everything she and Radek have been talking about. "A _game_?" she asks furiously. She stands, crossing her arms and looking down at them. "You call things like beheading innocent scientists a _game_?"

Kate's laughter is sharp and bitter. "Cassandra was anything but _innocent_," she says. "Do you want to know what she's been doing?"

Elizabeth leans forward, planting her hands on the table. "I would be _very_ interested in hearing what drove my psychiatrist to commit cold-blooded murder."

"Cassandra was clinically insane. Due to unspecified trauma she suffered a number of years ago, she was systematically hunting down any Immortal associated with the object of her post-traumatic stress disorder." Kate glances over at Radek. His expression is thoughtful. "I became a target because she thinks I know where the focus of her disorder is."

"So if you did not take Cassandra's life, she would have taken yours?" asks Teyla. She is frowning, and Kate can see the hurt in her eyes.

"That's what a challenge is." Kate looks at Teyla and John, pleading silently at them to understand. "Two Immortals fight. One loses a head. I don't initiate challenges."

"Not any more," says Radek, in a quiet voice.

"Radek--" starts Kate.

"Oh, no, if there's someone who's an expert in the history of Kate, I wanna hear it," says John. His voice is amused, but she can hear the tension underneath. From the look on Elizabeth's face, she can hear it too.

"I haven't told the Watchers about the past three years," says Radek. "Atlantis is something special. Not to be shared with everyone. Besides, would you want the Watchers getting their hands on Ancient technology?"

Kate grimaces. "The thought of what they could do--"

"Exactly," pronounces Radek. "How do you know so much about the Watchers?"

"I went to grad school with Adam Pierson," says Kate. She smiles, letting herself look fond of the memory. "Before the Watchers found out what he is."

"You know, there was a vote about whether to kill Adam or not," says Radek. He shrugs. "I am glad that he did not die.

"Here it's the Watchers that call Immortals a bloodthirsty bunch," murmurs Kate.

"We have a problem, though," says Radek. He taps the Atlantis expedition logo on the back of his computer. "I did not reveal the existence of Atlantis or the Stargate program, but--"

"But if Cassandra had a Watcher--"

"We might not be so lucky," finishes Radek.

"So what you're telling me is that two secret organizations may now have Atlantis in their sights?" asks Elizabeth.

"Only one," says Kate. "Immortals aren't particularly organized; by our nature, we're often solitary."

"Yes, that is what happens when one tries to behead one another as a matter of course," mutters Radek.

"Do you know who the other Watcher is?" asks Elizabeth.

"Not as yet. It is probably an American or someone from Western Europe." says Radek. He pauses. "I should not be telling you anything about the Watchers."

"You both need to decide if your loyalty is to Watchers and Immortals, or to this expedition, and the people on it," says Elizabeth. She waits as Kate and Radek look uneasily at each other. "If you decide your first priority isn't this expedition, you're both going back to Earth on the Daedalus."

***

"Kate." When Elizabeth dismisses them all, Teyla waits to talk to her with uncertainty in her eyes. "Tell me about yourself. You are not the woman I thought I knew."

"Oh, Teyla." Kate stands and walks over to her. They grasp each other's shoulders and lean forward, their foreheads touching together. The Athosian gesture, though unfamiliar to anything Kate has known on Earth, is comforting. "I'm truly sorry."

"If Carson had not almost died, or Cassandra had not sought you out, would you ever have told us?" asks Teyla.

Kate shakes her head. "Probably not. We keep ourselves secret for very good reasons."

"Reasons which are immaterial when one considers the nature of friendship," says Teyla. She draws back and caresses her fingertips down Kate's cheek. "And when one considers all that we have been through together. Do you not feel that we are family?"

"We are," says Kate. "I've never lied about how I felt about you, Teyla, only about what I am."

"And anything that relates to your immortality," says Teyla. "I needed to know if your feelings were affected by that."

"No. No, definitely not." Kate presses her lips together. "I tried to keep things secret, for reasons that I hope are understandable, but I didn't mean for you to think that I meant to hurt you."

"Then I am pleased," says Teyla. "I would not want the secrets you have kept to affect our friendship."

"Never," said Kate. "Not unless you want it to."

"Of course not." Teyla smiles. She glances toward the door, where John and Elizabeth are talking in hushed tones. "You should go and talk with John. Rescue him from Elizabeth's ire."

"And face her ire myself?" asks Kate. Elizabeth is a very formidable woman, one whom Kate respects, and despite everything she's been through, she's hesitant to provoke a confrontation.

"Elizabeth is hurt that you betrayed her trust," says Teyla. She shakes her head as Kate opens her mouth to speak. "We will all get past this, but you must give it time, and you must be _honest_ with us from now on."

"As honest as I can be," says Kate.

"I do not think that she will ask for you to be 'as honest as you can be,'" says Teyla. She takes Kate's hand and tugs her toward Elizabeth and John. "But we will see."

***

"Elizabeth really put the screws to you." John is walking Kate to her quarters. Thankfully, it's very early still. There's no one to see her carrying live steel covered with smears of blood around the city.

"I don't blame her," says Kate. "I understand that she didn't like what I had to do, but I hope she understands that it was necessary."

"You could've told me about Cassandra." John opens the door to her quarters and follows her in. "I'd have thrown her in a holding cell."

"And done what with her?" asks Kate. She puts the sword down and goes to rummage in a drawer for oil and a cleaning cloth. "Put her on trial? Put the person she was hunting on trial for crimes committed thousands of years ago? Reveal the existence of Immortals to the world at large? I'm having enough problems with Elizabeth and everyone here who knows."

"So you're having problems with me?" asks John. Kate turns around at the tone of his voice and sees that his arms are crossed. "Is that what you're saying? Because I think I've been pretty good about my girlfriend chopping off someone's head."

"I told you there were things you didn't know about me," says Kate. She sets the cleaning cloth and oil down next to her sword. "You figured out on your own that I used to be a very amoral person. Cassandra was, in some ways, a remnant of that time in my life."

"One you just killed." John's eyes are dark. He's angry at her again. "You can talk about it all you want, but she was trying to kill you. What I heard--"

"A very long time ago, Cassandra was taken as a slave," says Kate. "I knew the man who'd enslaved her."

"This Methos guy?" asks John. "Another Immortal."

"The oldest living Immortal, or so it's said." Kate wonders what John would do if he realizes he's already met Methos. "No one knows where he is, or if he's even still alive."

"But you know him," says John. "So you know where he is."

Kate can't control the small twitch of her lips that passes for a smile. "When I took Cassandra's head, I took all her power into myself. That includes the power she gained from heads that she'd taken in the past. It's the Quickening I told you about."

John's smarter than he acts. "So this Methos guy, chances are he'd have--"

"A very, very powerful Quickening," finishes Kate. "Immortals who kill just for a Quickening are called headhunters. There's no headhunter out there that doesn't dream of taking Methos' head. Those of us that are older tend to hide, or use a series of pseudonyms."

"Which is why Cassandra called you that funny name," says John. "What was it?"

"Carys." Kate shrugs. "Radek's probably got the Watcher's history of me password-protected somewhere on his hard drive. They know me as Carys of Gwynedd."

"That's your real name?" asks John. "Shit, Kate, I know fuck-all about you, and for some reason, I'm doing things like holing up in Carson's infirmary with your dead body and not letting anyone in, or pointing guns at strange women who're trying to kill you."

Kate goes quiet. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, John." She knows why she's been so open with John, and it's not just that some day, this is the life he's going to lead. "If you don't know why you've been doing that, I'm afraid I couldn't enlighten you. I'm an Immortal, not a mind-reader."

"I don't need you to be able to read my mind," snaps John. "Kate, I fucking fell in love with you. If this was just sex, I'd have ditched you back when I found out about all this."

Kate needs to sit down. She'll clean the sword later, after they've dealt with this. It's not stainless steel, so she's got to do it soon, but right now she needs to sit. Her thoughts are whirling, and she needs to process them. She can't seem to muster the will to move.

"Kate?" John's voice is softer now. "Are you okay?"

"You know, in three thousand years," she says, mustering the courage to meet his eyes. "I don't think I've ever met a mortal who's known me for who I am and loved me anyway."

"That's at least five hundred years older than I would've put you at." John tries to smile at her, and she tries to smile back. "You're not okay, are you?"

There's a pressure under her skin. She feels Cassandra's Quickening, and it won't quite settle. Not yet. Cassandra was an Immortal and a witch. Kate needs to ground herself somehow, so she walks up to John and takes his hand. "A lot of things have happened today," she says. John's thumb strokes over the skin of her hand, and his touch starts to overwhelm the ghosts Cassandra has left in her mind. "It's going to take some time for me to process all of it."

"You're not alone, Kate," says John. He leans over to kiss her, and when she's breathless and gasping for air, he pauses. "Stop acting like you are. We're your _family_, Kate."

That's the one thing she never had before her first death, and so it's the one thing she's always seeking. All she can do is nod. "I'm not used to having a family," murmurs Kate.

"Get over that," says John.

"I'll try," promises Kate. She pulls his shirt up and off, then throws it onto the floor. Her shoes are easily kicked off into a corner of her room.

"Don't you want to recover?" asks John. He's unbuttoning her pants and sliding the zipper down. "You've had one hell of a day."

Kate glances at her sword, then back at John as she scratches her nails lightly down his chest.

"My girlfriend gets off on killing people." John looks wryly amused by that as he works her pants down her hips. "That shouldn't be as hot as it is."

Cassandra's presence sends a spurt of rage through her, but Kate's spent centuries controlling her emotions, not suppressing them. She lets it fuel her as she slips her shirt off her head, and John shoves off his pants.

They move to the bed, and Kate pushes John gently onto his back. His hands fist in the sheets as she bends down to kiss him. "Don't hold back," she tells him.

"With you?" He twines his hands through her hair as she slides down onto his cock. "Never."

Never may be a lot longer than John thinks. They move together, and John holds true to his word. Each sharp bite of pain settles her in her own skin again. As she starts to bear down on his cock, her mouth wide open and gasping as she comes, she feels Cassandra's Quickening dissolve.

John shivers at the look in Kate's eyes. "Are you always so bloodthirsty?" he asks.

"Only sometimes," she breathes. Kate sits up and moves against him. John's thrusting again. He's so hard inside her, with his hands covering her breasts, that it only takes him a few minutes before he's calling her name.

"Sometimes I wonder about us," says John. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"What we always do." Kate slips off John and lays down next to him. She drapes her arm across his chest. "Our best."

"Oh, yeah, _that_," drawls John. "Lucky us."


	3. Chapter 3

**First Strike**

Kate comes up to Elizabeth's office. She stands just inside the open door. When Elizabeth looks up and notices her, Kate smiles. "Are you busy?" she asks.

"Always," says Elizabeth. She sighs heavily and pushes her laptop away. "Come in."

Kate nods and closes the door behind her. She takes a seat in front of Elizabeth's desk and positions herself - back straight, legs folded under the chair, tilted slightly to the side, palms open, left to rest gently on her thighs. She keeps her eyes open wide, looking interested. "I hope everything is all right?"

"You tell me." Elizabeth folds her hands on her desk and studies Kate. "My staff psychologist is at least twenty-five hundred years old, one of my chief scientists is a member of a secret organization and has, essentially, been stalking you, and you've just beheaded one of the new expedition members. How do _you_ think I'm doing?"

"I hope you understand why I kept the things I did from you," says Kate.

"Just because I understand something doesn't mean I have to like it," says Elizabeth. Her voice is so controlled. "Did you ever think it would be possible to just _trust_ us?"

"I'm too used to not trusting anyone," says Kate. She gives Elizabeth a serious look. "You heard what Radek said about the Watchers. They kill people who find out their secrets, including Immortals."

"This expedition is about so much more than secrets." Elizabeth's eyes light up, and her passion for Atlantis and the expedition is always so infectious. "It's about standing together as people of _Earth_. We've come to learn about and from the people of this galaxy, and we can't do that if we keep ourselves divided from each other."

"I trust you. I trust John, Teyla, and the rest of your command staff, Elizabeth. I even trust Radek, despite the fact that he's a Watcher." Kate lets herself lean forward just enough for Elizabeth to read the intensity of that statement. "But I'm a trained psychiatrist with thousands of years of experience in reading people. Not everyone on this expedition can be trusted as unreservedly as you can."

"It's not just how I feel as the leader of this expedition, Kate," says Elizabeth. She looks down at her hands, then back up to meet Kate's eyes. "I want to trust in your friendship as well."

"And I've violated that trust," says Kate. There's no questioning tone in her statement, because it's true. It's one of the conflicts inherent in growing close with mortals who don't know what she is. "I'm sorry for that."

"You can earn it back," says Elizabeth. She smiles, and Kate leans back, unable to control a sigh of relief. "I'm a big believer in second chances."

Rodney opens Elizabeth's door without knocking. He's followed by Radek, who has a faintly apologetic air about him. "We have a problem," announces Rodney.

"What else is new?" asks Elizabeth, giving Kate a wry look. "What is it this time, Rodney?"

"Dr. Secret Society here--"

"I have a name," interrupts Radek. " Please be so kind as to use it."

Rodney rolls his eyes and turns back to Elizabeth and Kate. "Dr. _Zelenka_ here, being a member of an apparently thousands of years old secret society, is apparently privy to a few secrets that none of the rest of us know. Except maybe Kate."

"Would anyone else like to yell at me?" asks Kate tiredly. "Should we get everyone in your office all at once, Elizabeth, and let them get it over with?"

"Poor Kate," murmurs Elizabeth.

"Yes, _well_," says Rodney, snapping his fingers. "Important information here!"

"When I was going over the results of our weekly systems scan, I found something," says Radek, stepping in front of Rodney and walking to Elizabeth's desk. He holds his tablet out to her. "There is an encryption the Watchers use. It is very simple, really, and easy enough to break. Cassandra's Watcher was preparing his first report to go in the weekly databurst to Earth."

"He was going to give the Watchers information on Atlantis," says Rodney. "_Detailed_ information. Location, defenses, available technology."

"They have no way to get here," says Radek. "The Watchers are not even aware Earth is capable of space travel."

"But having them aware of Atlantis means they'd be aware of Ancient technology," says Kate. "Including life sign tracking systems."

"Which, I have to say, could be modified to detect people like you, Kate," says Rodney. He looks smug. "I've been playing."

"This technology could be abused by Hunters, yes," says Radek. "You know about them, I presume?"

"I heard about how Darius died," says Kate. Fear wells up in her gut. "You mean he wasn't the only one?"

Radek chuckles mirthlessly. "Hardly. The problem is taken care of for now, though."

"Hunters?" asks Elizabeth, her voice sharp.

"Rogue Watchers," says Radek. "They believe all Immortals are evil, regardless of behavior, and try to kill them."

"Is the other Watcher here someone who believes that?" asks Elizabeth.

"I hope not," says Rodney. "We _really_ don't need a new therapist on Atlantis."

"I feel better already," says Kate. She's trying to decide whether or not to take offense.

"I'm sure you do," says Rodney scathingly. "Look, I'm used to you, okay? I even like you, despite the fact that you lied to us. Now, can we move on and start discussing the Watcher that's _not_ in the room with us?"

"That's right, Rodney," mutters Radek, rolling his eyes. "Just keep belittling me. That is what will resolve this whole issue."

"Gentlemen," warns Elizabeth. They stop glaring at each other and turn to her. "I want this Watcher's name, and I want him in a holding cell while my we discuss how this person's nation's espionage laws apply in the Pegasus galaxy."

"Right," says Rodney. "I, um--" He gestures outside of Elizabeth's office. "Sheppard said he'd take care of that once you gave him a go."

"I see," says Elizabeth, very, very carefully. "Then let's go have a chat with this person, shall we? I'd prefer you give me a name, instead of surprising me when we get there."

"It's Mike Branton," says Radek. "I believe you know him."

"Yes. I do." Elizabeth nods. "Thank you." It takes a moment, but Kate remembers where she heard Mike Branton's name. It's outside of the usual channels, but she and Teyla had been talking about Elizabeth's lunch date with him.

Kate gives Elizabeth a concerned look, one that she brushes off as they both stand. She doesn't say another word until they reach the holding cells.

***

John's eyes seek her out as soon as they enter the holding cells, and he lets out what would, to almost anyone else, be an imperceptible sigh of relief. Teyla is standing next to him, her brow furrowed, and Ronon is leaning against the wall. His arms are crossed, and he's giving Dr. Branton a flat, dead-eyed stare.

"I would _love_ to know what the Watchers think they're going to do in my city," says Elizabeth.

Rodney raises one hand from where he's staring down at his tablet. "We've only gotten a little more of this message deciphered, but it looks like he's tattling on Radek and Kate for spilling the beans about Immortals."

"And Watchers," says Dr. Branton. "Didn't they make you take an oath?"

"Did you not sign several levels of non-disclosure forms and confidentiality agreements before you came to Atlantis?" asks Radek.

"You don't seriously expect me to believe she hasn't told the Immortals about this place," says Dr. Branton, nodding at Kate.

"_She_ has a name," growls John.

"She can also talk for herself," says Kate mildly.

"I want all of Dr. Branton's personal effects brought to my office," says Elizabeth coldly. "He's going to be shipped back to Earth at the first available chance to face charges of espionage."

"You're too nice," says Ronon. His voice is almost a growl. "On Sateda, punishment for espionage was death. No trial if you could find proof."

"Sometimes I wish we did things your way," says John.

***

Kate comes to Teyla's room after dinner. "It's been a while," she says after Teyla answers the door. "Since we've gotten together, I mean."

"Too long," says Teyla, smiling at her. The butterflies in Kate's stomach calm down as Teyla gestures to her room. "Come in."

"It is good to see you," says Teyla. She leads Kate to an area of her room with pillows and blankets strewn on the floor. They sit facing each other, and Kate notices that there's a lessening in Teyla's usual liquid grace.

"How are you feeling?" asks Kate.

The look Teyla gives her is long-suffering. "I could be better," she says.

"Couldn't we all?" says Kate. She clasps her hands around her knees and leans back against some pillows. "I'm sorry if I had any part in that."

"It is not you," says Teyla. Uncertainty washes over her face as she pauses. "I am pregnant."

Kate's eyes widen. "Congratulations," she says. She smiles as she glances down at Teyla's stomach. "How far along are you?"

"Three months," says Teyla. "Not enough time for it to become clear." She hesitates. "I would prefer that you keep this to yourself."

"Of course." Kate nods. "Teyla, I'm touched that you trust me enough to confide in me."

"The only people that know are you and Carson," says Teyla. "I must tell Elizabeth and John. We will be meeting tomorrow."

"I'm sure they'll be as pleased as Carson and I are," says Kate. "Though the logistics of explaining your pregnancy to the IOA are going to give her a headache."

"I do not envy her that," says Teyla, and then she and Kate are laughing together.

***

**Adrift**

Too many crises happen the next day, and as Atlantis lurches into the sky for the first time in millenia, Kate makes her way to the infirmary. She's hoping to find Carson and Jennifer there, and she'll offer to lend a hand if they need first aid skills.

Jennifer's trying to hold Elizabeth down. She's half-dazed, with blood trickling down her skull and burns on her arms. Ronon's sitting on a bed next to her, glaring at a medic who's trying to treat him. Carson is nowhere that she can see.

An instant later, she catches sight of him. Teyla and Rodney are standing off to the side. They're pale and stricken with dread, staring at John's form on a stretcher. Kate's breath catches as John codes, and Carson calls for medical help. She sees shards of glass embedded in John's back, and his shirt is seared away.

"What happened?" Kate swallows as she walks over to Ronon. The best thing she can do now is let Carson work. She knows this, but it still takes all her willpower to keep herself from running to John's side, especially when she sees his heartbeat come back.

"Asuran laser beam in the control tower," says Ronon. He grunts in pain as he starts to tug on the dagger of glass embedded in his shoulder. "Sheppard knocked Elizabeth out of the way, but he took the whole blast himself."

"You're going to injure yourself further," says the medic, holding ineffectually onto a bottle of saline.

The glass clatters to the ground, and Kate makes her decision. She grabs the bottle of saline from the medic's hand. "Then you should have called for Dr. Cole or Dr. Biro before he did this," she says. She nods at the bed Ronon's on. "Lay down. We're going to have to make sure there's no glass left in the wound before we stitch it up."

"You a doctor?" asks Ronon. He lays back despite his questions. "Thought you were a psychiatrist."

"Psychiatrists go to medical school and complete a medical residency," says Kate. "I can at least clean a wound and stitch you up. Besides, it'll keep me busy."

"I get that," says Ronon.

***

With John in the infirmary, his life slowly bleeding away, and Elizabeth unable to see straight due to a hairline skull fracture, Teyla's in charge of Atlantis. She's been working endlessly, and Kate sees dark circles under Teyla's eyes as she looks up and catches sight of her.

"What will you do if we are unable to find power, or to find a new planet to settle on?" asks Teyla. It's the middle of the night, and they've all been working frantically to find the answers to their problems.

Kate's been able to get out of the infirmary, and she's holding out a cup of tea for Teyla to take. "What do you mean?" she asks, sitting down. She shoves the tea at Teyla and takes a drink of her own coffee.

"If you cannot die, what will you do when the rest of us perish?" asks Teyla. She grimaces at the scent of her tea, but drinks it anyway. Elizabeth's office is full of reports.

"I would die as well," says Kate. She cradles her mug to her chest. "If Atlantis ever returned to conditions where life could be supported, I would revive." She doesn't say how traumatic that would be, or how she'd be changed by the experience.

"I would not wish that for you," says Teyla. She reaches across Elizabeth's desk and takes Kate's hand.

"I wouldn't wish that for any of us," says Kate. She gives Teyla a reassuring look. "You won't let that happen."

"I hope not to." Teyla's smile is warm and reassuring, but strained.

"When's the last time you got any rest?" asks Kate.

"Far too long ago," admits Teyla. She pushes Elizabeth's chair back and stands. "I was going to go to the infirmary to check on John, and to update Elizabeth on our situation. She is--" Teyla gives Kate a wry look. "She is very frustrated."

"It's understandable," says Kate. She stands as Teyla rounds Elizabeth's desk, and they walk out of Teyla's office together. "Elizabeth is used to being in control of Atlantis, and the skull fracture is keeping her from that."

"The fact that it is understandable makes it no less irritating." Teyla's voice is tart.

"I imagine not," says Kate. She glances over at Teyla as they reach the door to Elizabeth's office. "At least she's alive."

"At least we have that," agrees Teyla.

John's form, still and almost lifeless, is on Kate's mind as they walk to the nearest transporter.

***

Kate hears the beeping of the life-support machine that John's on as she walks into the infirmary with Teyla. Rodney's there, taking five minutes from helping to save the city, and he gulps as he spots Kate and Teyla walking in.

Their fingers are laced together; Kate gave up the pretense that she didn't need the comfort of Teyla's friendship so recently that people in Atlantis aren't used to the shift in nonverbal dynamics.

Teyla gives Kate's hand a squeeze before dropping it and moving to speak with Elizabeth. The two of them speak in hushed, quiet voices as Kate moves to John's bedside.

"So, uh," says Rodney. "How are you holding up?"

"As well as any of us are," says Kate. She brushes her fingertips across John's forehead. The gauze is rough and snags on her skin.

"I keep thinking he's going to be okay," says Rodney. "That he's going to wake up, kick Carson out of the control chair, and yell at us all for wrecking his city. But Dr. Keller says--"

"Dr. Keller says not to borrow trouble," finishes Jennifer, walking in. "Kate. How you doing?"

By now, the whole city knows about her relationship with John. "Just fine," says Kate, smiling and letting the calm settle across her features.

She's known Jennifer for three years now, so Kate's knows from the look Jennifer's giving her that she's not fooled. "We need to talk," says Jennifer. "John has you and Elizabeth listed as next of kin on his medical paperwork, and we're talking brain surgery here."

"It's gotten that serious?" asks Kate. Rodney's still standing next to her, arms crossed, and she can see his face tighten with anguish.

"His brain won't stop swelling," says Jennifer. "Unless we reduce the swelling now--"

"He'll die," says Rodney.

"Even if he survives, you'll have to expect significant reduction in cognitive function," says Jennifer.

Kate nods. The faint tingling that has always marked John's presence hums under her skin. "Take him off life support."

"What?" asks Rodney. "Are you crazy? You can't just let him die--"

"Take him off life support," repeats Kate. She's half-tempted to start pulling plugs on her own. "He'll be fine."

"Kate, I don't think that's going to work the way you think it will," says Jennifer.

"Do it now," says Kate. "Trust me."

Rodney's gaze is whipping back and forth between her and John. "He's like you, isn't he?"

"Not yet." Kate knows her face is white. "Take him off life support and he will be. Do brain surgery, and you're going to doom him to a lifetime of mental disability on Earth, where he'll be cut off from those of us that love him."

"What do you mean 'like you?'" Jennifer's voice is sharp. "Kate, if I take him off life support, he's going to die."

"Do it, Jennifer," says Kate. "Please just trust me."

"Kate." Kate turns to see Elizabeth standing in the doorway, white-faced and supported by a determined-looking Teyla. "Is it the only way?"

"Dr. Weir, you should be in bed," says Jennifer. She starts forward, but Elizabeth holds up one trembling hand, and Jennifer stops.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." Kate glances back at John. His skin is paper thin, and he's already starting to look wasted. "If there was any other way--"

Elizabeth nods. "I'm aware of that." Her gaze strays to John, and Teyla's grip around her waist tightens. "Take Colonel Sheppard off life support, Dr. Keller."

"I can't do that," says Jennifer. "It goes against all my principles as a physician."

"Then I'll do it." Kate can't smile. She can't do anything but look over at John. Rodney's still standing in the corner of her vision, and she hears him gulp.

"He's going to be okay after this, right?" he asks.

"Yes." The short answer is all Kate can choke out.

"Then I have to get back to the pressing business of saving all our lives," says Rodney. He huffs an impatient sigh. "Radek's probably ready to crash us all into the nearest star. Which means that you, Elizabeth, should be in bed."

"I concur," says Teyla. She guides Elizabeth back to her bed, and Rodney follows along behind them, fussing until Teyla chases him off.

Jennifer's the only one left behind, and she's staring at Kate. "You can't do this," she says.

"Watch me." Kate flips the first switch off. Half an hour later, John's heart stops.

***

When John wakes up, he sees Kate sitting in the chair next to his bed. He clears his throat and mutters something incomprehensible before pushing himself up. When he meets her eyes, and sees what's in them, he _knows_. "I'm so unbelievably pissed at you right now."


	4. Chapter 4

**Lifeline**

"John doesn't know you're pregnant yet, does he?" asks Kate. "He thinks you're staying behind to run the city while Elizabeth's out of commission."

"Nor does Elizabeth. We did not have a chance to meet before Colonel Ellis arrived," says Teyla. She's still in Elizabeth's office, eyeing the meal Kate brought with her. "There has not been time since. Why did you bring that?"

"Because I'm sure you haven't been getting enough to eat," says Kate. She holds out a fork, which Teyla takes with a glare. "Just like you haven't been getting enough sleep."

"You are not my nursemaid," says Teyla. There's a grouchy edge to her voice that Kate rarely hears with anyone but Ronon or herself.

"You're _pregnant_, Teyla," says Kate. "I know there's a lot that needs doing on Atlantis, but Chuck, Major Lorne, and Dr. Zelenka can all help."

"Which they are doing already," says Teyla. She takes a bite of the noodles Kate brought in, then grimaces. "I used to love this sauce."

"I've heard your tastes can change during pregnancy," says Kate, settling into a chair across from Teyla.

"You have never been--"

Kate shakes her head, cutting Teyla off. "I'm not able to conceive," she says. "I hope you don't mind that I'm going to vicariously enjoy your pregnancy."

Teyla's glare would make Kate chuckle, if only she wasn't being sensitive to Teyla's emotional state. "I believe that vicarious enjoyment is the only way to enjoy pregnancy. It is _certainly_ less enjoyable to experience."

"I can imagine," says Kate sympathetically. "Elizabeth sends her regards, and tells me you're supposed to give her power consumption reports soon."

Teyla pauses, fork halfway to her mouth, and raises one eyebrow. "Elizabeth must learn how to convalesce gracefully."

"I highly doubt that's going to happen," says Kate.

"'A snowball's chance in hell' is the Earth phrase, is it not?" asks Teyla. She shakes her head and takes another bite of pasta alfredo. "Or at least, Rodney often uses that phrase when arguing with Radek."

"What do you think will happen?" asks Kate.

"I have faith in John, Ronon, and Rodney," says Teyla, sipping at her tea. "They will bring us another ZPM. If they do not, then either Carson or Major Lorne will land Atlantis on this new planet, and we will make a life for ourselves here."

"I worry for them," says Kate. She smiles, but it's strained. That same strain is reflected in Teyla's eyes. "Sometimes I think it's easier to be active, instead of waiting here."

"I am glad that you are waiting with Elizabeth and myself," says Teyla. She takes a slow, deep breath, then releases it as she presses her hand to her stomach. "It is a comfort to have a sister with me at a time such as this. I know that you are kept busy by this crisis."

"Everyone needs a sympathetic ear now and again," says Kate. "I help where I can."

"Perhaps you will help me by telling Elizabeth and John of my condition?" asks Teyla, almost hopefully.

"Oh, no," says Kate, leaning back, her eyes widening in mock horror. "I've had to break enough unpleasant news to them lately. That one is yours."

"That is unfortunate," says Teyla, sighing.

***

Kate watches Elizabeth shift restlessly in her bed. "I don't see why you couldn't simply bring me the reports I asked for," she tells Kate.

"The fact that staring at a computer monitor for more than five minutes gives you a migraine isn't enough of a reason?" asks Kate mildly. She's amused by Elizabeth's insistence, but only because it's about damn time Elizabeth can't sneak around the medical restrictions implemented for her benefit.

"Not nearly enough," mutters Elizabeth. "I'm _bored_, Kate."

"You're supposed to be bored when you're recovering from a life-threatening injury," says Kate. "It means you're feeling well enough to _be_ bored."

"I hate all of you," says Elizabeth, narrowing her eyes.

"You only say that because Jennifer threatened to put you in restraints if you tried to leave," says Kate. "I know that you have faith in Teyla's leadership abilities."

"Of course I do," says Elizabeth. "It's just that I feel so useless sitting here while everyone else is risking themselves."

"No one wants anything to happen to you," says Kate. She leans forward and watches Elizabeth pick up on the sincerity of her statement. "Atlantis needs you."

Elizabeth stays silent for a moment, then nods. "All right," she says. "You win. For now."

Kate's radio activates then, and Teyla is calling to let her know that John is back, and they have a situation on their hands. She excuses herself by promising Elizabeth an update as soon as possible, then almost runs to the jumper bay.

***

Kate arrives at the jumper bay appearing much more calm than she feels. She moves to stand next to Teyla as she observes the situation. John is leaning with one hand on the puddlejumper while Ronon and Rodney stand several feet away. They're all vibrating with the nervous tension of a dangerous mission.

"All I'm saying is I can't believe you shot me!" exclaims John. His shirt is burned through, but the skin underneath is whole and unmarred. "Fatally!"

"Got you out of the Asurans' hands, didn't it?" asks Ronon. "What'd you want me to do? Leave you there?"

"Yes!" shouts John.

Kate and Teyla glance at each other, expressions of horror nearly identical.

Radek comes barreling into the room. "I hear we have a ZPM?" He spots the hole in John's shirt and pauses. "Oh. Him too?"

"Just recently," supplies Kate.

"I'm still not talking to you," says John. He doesn't even look at her.

Teyla's hand closes around hers as Kate flinches. "John--"

"ZPM?" asks Rodney. He holds up a case. "Radek. You can indulge your voyeuristic fetishism later. Let's go save the city."

"I get credit too?" Radek rolls his eyes. "You're so generous, Rodney."

"You only get credit if it doesn't work," snaps Rodney. "Come _on_."

***

Kate lets herself into John's room. He's stretched out on his bed, with War and Peace pillowed in his lap as he reads. She knows he felt her presence as she came closer. "That's gonna be hard to get used to," he says, not looking up. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk," says Kate. She's still standing near the door. The sound of the ocean reaches her, but there's a subtle difference to the sound of the waves now.

"You probably should have thought of that," starts John, looking up at her with a furious glare, "some time _before_ you cut my life support."

"There was the possibility that you'd grow old and die," says Kate. She keeps her hands at her sides, slightly apart from her body. "I had to give you that chance."

"Come on, Kate, did you really think I was gonna die of old age?" asks John. He's still glaring, and it cuts into her. "_I_ never thought I would."

"Then you deserved the chance to live a mortal life as long as possible," says Kate. "The life of an Immortal isn't an easy one."

"My life hasn't been easy for a long time." John snaps his book shut and sets it down next to him. "Not like there are other Immortals in this galaxy, right?"

"When do I ever get off-world to run into any?" asks Kate. "You wouldn't have known about them before now. We don't know if there's a Game. If there are rules, or anything to keep Immortals in check. The Wraith have destroyed so much--"

"You still should've told me," says John, and his voice is a deep growl.

"If I'd told you, then you'd have done something even more foolhardy than you usually do." Kate's hands are clenched into fists, and she forces her fingers to splay out. "I worry about you when you're in a dangerous situation. I _love_ you."

She sees the rage drain out of him in an instant. "Kate--" John pauses. "Kate, I'm fine."

When John holds out his hand, Kate goes to him. Her fingers wrap around his, and she lays down, her head pillowed on John's chest. His hand strokes through her hair, which has faded now to a reddish brown. "I don't know what else to say."

"That's impressive. My psychiatrist girlfriend is speechless." His voice is lighter as he continues. "You love me?"

"I didn't want to see you in a challenge any sooner than I had to," she says. She glances up at John. "It _will_ happen eventually. We can't say on Atlantis forever."

"Then we'll deal with it when it happens," says John. "All right?"

***

**Doppelganger**

Their first genuine sense of risk from the entity comes when Major Lorne has his sidearm aimed at Elizabeth. John's standing next to her, and until thirty seconds ago, Major Lorne's sidearm had been aimed at him.

Kate's not certain how the majority of the expedition would react to the discovery of Immortals, but no one in the room with them that knows wants to find out.

"She's a Replicator too," says Major Lorne. "They took her over and no one ever realized it."

Elizabeth flinches, and Kate thinks back to talking with her about the nanites. They had been the cause of more than one therapy session.

"That's not funny, Major," growls John. "Why don't you just put your sidearm down, and you and Dr. Heightmeyer can talk about this."

"Sure, let me have a chat with the woman that's sleeping with a Replicator," says Major Lorne dryly.

Kate controls her expression, but rage flashes across John's face. "I thought we were trying to keep that quiet," he says. "And I'm not a Replicator."

Ronon arrives and saves them from having to listen to Major Lorne's answer by stunning him. Kate kneels forward and checks his pulse as Teyla arrives with the ARG and an annoyed expression.

***

Her dream doesn't start out like a normal dream. She's in her office, and John is there, staring at her with an angrily intense expression. "You're a threat," he growls, and she's somehow transported to the window ledge.

"You have no idea." Kate doesn't like heights. She never has. Her first death was when she'd tried to commit suicide by flinging herself off the walls of Troy. Twice. Thankfully, she's able to suppress any visible sign of the terror she feels draping over her like a blanket.

"Let's see what the thrill of killing someone is like," says John. She doesn't feel a Quickening from him, but this is a dream. "What's that thing you do? Psychoanalyze?"

It clicks that he's echoing what she said in the briefing room. "You're the entity," says Kate. The entity doesn't know her the way John does.

John just smiles at her, but it's bloodthirsty. "I like to play."

The look in the entity's eyes - John's eyes - sparks the violence Kate keeps leashed, and she mirrors its smile. "When I said you have no idea, I meant that."

Teyla walks into her office then, and frowns at Kate. She looks worried. "Kate, what are you doing up there?"

She's being held in place by the entity, but as Teyla moves forward, John comes and holds onto her. It's expending energy to deal with Teyla's struggles now, and while it's distracted, Kate jumps down lightly from the window onto the floor.

It turns to her with a snarl, and Teyla's joined fists come about to impact the back of its skull. As it's knocked forward, it twists John's face and sneers. "I don't see why you think you're in love with him," it says. "He's only with you because you're safe."

"I'm far from that," says Kate. Her teeth are bared in a vicious smile, and her sword is so much a part of her that she can find it easily, even in a dream. Sliding a sword into John's heart, even if it's not John, while Teyla looks on with shock is one of her most recent nightmares.

But this isn't John. They both _know_ that.

Kate wrenches her sword from the entity and raises it up to cut off its head, but before she can begin her downstroke, she wakes, gasping for breath.

***

Teyla rushes into John's bedroom. Kate is sitting up, eyes wide with fright, while John is throwing off the covers and trying to get her to tell him what's wrong.

"Kate," says Teyla, as Kate calls out Teyla's name. Then Teyla is moving toward her.

Kate's arms are around Teyla's waist as Teyla pulls Kate close into a hug. They whisper soft words of reassurance to each other, and Kate pushes Teyla's disheveled hair back. "I'm glad you're alive," she murmurs to Teyla.

"_We_ are alive," says Teyla. She smiles tremulously at Kate. "I am glad you are well."

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that." The shared dream is still sharp and vivid in their minds. "You shouldn't have had to."

"I am more relieved that you are capable of defending yourself," says Teyla. Her hand is stroking up and down Kate's arm, and Kate can't help but sigh and be reassured by the contact. "That there is a darkness within you is something I am more than capable of coping with."

"Could you two just kiss already?" asks John. Kate and Teyla give him simultaneous irritated looks. "What? I'm just saying, you two don't really act like sisters. Or best friends. Or whatever you say you are this week."

"I do not think Ronon would take kindly to you asking the mother of his child such things," says Teyla sternly.

"Mother of his child?" echoes John hollowly. "Ronon? Baby?"

"Oh, so _that's_ who the father is. I'd wondered." Kate reaches for Teyla's bare stomach, then pauses just short of her skin. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not," says Teyla. She takes Kate's hand and places it on her stomach. "You will not be able to feel the infant moving for quite some time."

"You're starting to show," says Kate. The soft swell of Teyla's abdomen and the knowledge of the life growing within her helps to chase the lingering horror of the dream away. "It will be nice when we can celebrate publicly."

"You knew?" John groaned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was not her secret to share," says Teyla.

"Sheppard, what the hell are you doing?" asks Ronon. He pads into John's room on bare feet and eyes John suspiciously.

"Nothing!" John waves one hand in a vague gesture at Teyla and Kate. "You know what these two are like. Also, why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" asks Ronon. He drops down on John's bed next to Teyla, who raises one eyebrow and gives him a _look_. "Oh, that. Teyla asked me not to."

"In the future, can I please be informed of all expectant parents on my _team_?" asks John. "Does Elizabeth know?"

"She will know first thing in the morning," says Teyla.

"Oh, she's gonna find out _now_," says John, reaching for his radio. "You had a run-in with that stupid crystal alien; she's gonna want to hear about that anyway."

***

Elizabeth, Rodney, and Radek stumble into the conference room. Kate's nursing a mug of coffee and leaning back in her chair. Teyla has tea, and Ronon's sitting next to her and trying to look protective.

John is pacing behind them, and the only thing that keeps Kate from panicking at that is the constant feel of his Quickening thrumming underneath her skin. The entity doesn't have a Quickening.

"All right," says Elizabeth, as Jennifer comes in late and sits down next to her. "What happened."

"The entity is trying to escalate its activities," says Kate.

"It tried to kill Kate," says Teyla. "It was able to pull us into a shared dream."

"My God," murmurs Elizabeth.

"It seems to be aware of its surroundings, and understands that we're talking about it," says Kate.

"It's in one of the four of us," says John. He stops pacing and turns to Elizabeth. "If Keller's right, and it's transmitted by touch--"

"Then we should all be very careful not to touch any of you," finishes Jennifer.

"Not a problem," says Rodney. He pushes his chair back from the table.

"There's something else that Teyla has to tell you," says John.

"John!" snaps Teyla. Kate gives Teyla a sympathetic look as Ronon glares at him.

"Teyla?" Elizabeth frowns slightly. "Is something wrong?"

"I am pregnant," says Teyla.

"You're--" Elizabeth's eyes go wide before she gets her expression back under control.

"Oh, my God," says Rodney. "Baby? You?"

Jennifer smiles the widest smile Kate's ever seen on her. "Congratulations, Teyla!"

"We should kill the alien," says Ronon. "Before it gets any bright ideas about my kid."

Radek pushes his glasses up. "Oh, my," he says. "Atlantis is a surprising place these days. We will have to build a nursery."

"Yes, but first we have priorities, like Freddy Kreuger here," says John. "Does this mean we can requisition the entire Nightmare On Elm Street series for Atlantis movie nights?"

Elizabeth just gives him a long-suffering look as Teyla rolls her eyes.

"So we'll worry about that later, then," says John.

***

"We have been able to requisition these machines from Earth," says Radek. Kate is standing next to Elizabeth and Teyla as they listen to his report. "SG-1 discovered a society that placed themselves within a sort of dream universe after an apocalyptic event."

Rodney's hooked up to one of the machines, and John is hooked up to the other. They're both sleeping, but Kate thinks she sees Rodney's eyelids flickering uneasily.

"Can this creature kill John?" asks Elizabeth, staring down into the isolation room.

"I don't know," says Kate. She shrugs quickly. "I don't know all of the dangers of this galaxy that can harm an Immortal."

"Why did you come to this galaxy, then?" asks Teyla

Elizabeth glances over at Kate. "Bored with Earth?"

"I started working for the government to make it more difficult for the Watchers to track me," says Kate, ignoring Radek's startled look. "Then you reviewed my personnel file and came to recruit me for the Atlantis expedition. Your enthusiasm's infectious, Elizabeth."

"Well, then," says Elizabeth, a slight smile playing about the curve of her mouth. "I think I can take that as a compliment."

***

John's back from a late dinner in the mess. Kate's been in his room for several hours now, and wonders if she should stop maintaining the fiction that these are his quarters, not theirs.

"Are you all right?" asks Kate.

"That whole planet was full of these things," says John. He drops his jacket on a chair and comes over to sit next to Kate. "Could you imagine if we'd brought more of them home with us?"

"You didn't," says Kate. She leans forward and kisses him softly. "Everyone's fine. That's all that matters."

"Yeah," says John. "Guess you're right."

Kate smiles as he slips his arm around her. "This time, at least."

"Do I get to gloat if I'm right next time?" asks John.

"No," says Kate, smiling.

\--end--


	5. Timestamp Meme: One Year After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year after the events of And From Life's Dissonance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [here on this LJ comment](http://havocthecat.livejournal.com/721536.html?thread=6261376#t6261376).

"Ronon is watching our son." Teyla walks into Kate's room. "I have the night free to spend with you."

"The whole night?" asks Kate. She smiles. "What do you want to do?"

"This." When Teyla's mouth finds hers, Kate makes a startled noise. "I had hoped that you felt the same attraction as I," says Teyla. She steps back and lets her features settle into something neutral and composed. "I am sorry to have imposed."

Kate catches Teyla's wrist before she can leave. "It's not that, Teyla," says Kate. "You're beautiful, and strong, and I admire everything about you."

"Then what--" Teyla holds herself still as she and Kate stare at each other.

"I've felt the attraction too," says Kate. Her tongue flickers out to lick at her lips. "I never thought you would act on it. There's Ronon to consider."

"Then it seems we both still have much to learn about each other. Ronon will understand," says Teyla. She steps toward Kate once again, and they kiss again. Teyla strokes gently along Kate's arms until they part. "Do you want to call John? Is he averse to--"

"To threesomes?" Kate chuckles. "From experience, I can say that he's not."

"It is a sharing of love," says Teyla. She gives Kate a stern look. "We of Athos believe that love cannot be constrained the way that you of Earth do. I love you and John, and I would share that with you both."

"Then let's call him," says Kate. She lets her hands settle on Teyla's hips. 

***

When John walks into Kate's quarters, she and Teyla are naked. Teyla's leaning against the headboard, her legs spread, and her head flung back. Kate's kneeling between Teyla's legs. She's devouring Teyla's mouth while her fingers thrust slowly inside her.

"Wow." John gulps. "Uh, Kate? Teyla? What's going on?"

Teyla's eyes open, and she gives John a lazy, sated look. "I told you once that Athosian customs are very different from your own," she says. "We wish you to join us."

"I'm flattered," says John. He smiles, even though he's still a little confused-looking. "Kate? You wanna tell me what's up?"

"I don't want to make it complicated right now, John," says Kate. She doesn't smile at him, just stares right into his eyes. "It's complicated enough. I just want this."

"Right." John nods and pulls off his shirt as he walks toward them. "I can handle that."

Kate turns back to Teyla, moving her fingers again. She curls them inside Teyla, and her mouth finds Teyla's breast. John slips into bed with them. Kate feels the brush of his hip against her arm as he kisses Teyla. 

The curve of John's hand slides down Teyla's stomach. He presses his fingers along her clit, and Teyla cries out. Her eyes are dark, and she pulses around Kate's fingers as she comes. Kate waits, motionless, until Teyla's cries have calmed down, before pulling her fingers out of Teyla and splaying her hand on Teyla's belly.

"That was unusual," says John. 

Teyla and Kate share an exasperated look. "You did not expect this to be normal, did you?" asks Teyla.

"This is a level of unusual I don't expect in reality," says John.

"I see." Kate's amused as she runs her palm down John's chest and sees a flare of arousal in his eyes. "The rest of our lives are normal, then?"

"Maybe we shouldn't say anything more," says John.

"Maybe not," agrees Teyla.


End file.
